At the same seminar, I saw Sean Barron speaking about the unwritten rules of social relationships. He was also an amazing public speaker. Here’s what I learned from him:
Unwritten Rule #1: Rules are not absolute. They are situation-based and people-based. People should handle situations properly.
Unwritten Rule #2: Not everything is equally important in the grand scheme of things. Many people with autism have a hard time having a healthy perspective on things. Certain things have to be prioritized.
Unwritten Rule #3: Everyone in the world makes mistakes. They don’t have to ruin your day. Don’t expect to be perfect. People with autism have a hard time accepting mistakes, but they have to learn from them. They need to let things go and move on. Life is not perfect. They need to be objective, not blow things out of proportion, or stress over unimportant matters.
Unwritten Rule #4: Honesty is different from diplomacy. Some individuals with autism can be very blunt and direct. They need to know their boundaries when it comes to honesty.
Unwritten Rule #5: Being polite is appropriate in any situation.
Unwritten Rule #6: Not everyone who is nice to me is my friend. Some people want instant results. Some people may take advantage of individuals with autism or be a bad influence on them. People with autism have to learn body language.
Unwritten Rule #7: People act differently in public than they do in private.
Unwritten Rule #8: Know when you’re turning people off.
Unwritten Rule #9: “Fitting in” is often tied to looking and sounding like you fit in.
Unwritten Rule #10: People are responsible for their own behaviors.